First of all, I hardly ever bother to blog any more. It's hardly ever worth it, as people take this crap far too seriously and without any sense of humor at all... furthermore, there are just too many professional bloggers who have nothing to do but spend hours writing posts and then peruse every one else's. Quite frankly, I don't have that kind of time. I'm not paid to do this.
Anyhow, a little satire for you. After reading a recent Liberal-praising editorial in the Western Red Star, I was compeled to write this piece of satire. Enjoy!
LIBERALS BRING UNPRECEDENTED GOOD WEATHER TO ST. JOHN'SSATIRE!!!
An unexplained heat-wave has accompanied the Liberal Caucus visit to St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador. Weather is on average 6 degrees above normal and sunshine is blanketing every square inch of the capitol city, ensuring crops ripen and bring unprecedented yields showing that the Liberal Party of Canada is the only choice for the people of Newfoundland and Labrador if they wish to eat and not starve to death. Threats of starvation under the present Conservative government are certainly not just the manifestation of idle minds but indeed a real threat. The premier was encouraged to repeat the remarks of the Canadian Liberals that should they return to power, they will continue to send the good weather our way and not just hog it all for up-along. Some Liberals promised year-round summer and that tourism under their leadership would reach record levels.
In a welcome and expected announcement, the Liberals have announced that if elected, every Newfoundland and Labradorian living abroad in other parts of Canada would be repatriated and industry would be forced to provide jobs for every single one at a minimum of $300,000 per year thus assuring the welcome return of every son and daughter of this province. "The past is past" one well-known Liberal said, "and from now on, Newfoundland and Labrador will be the flagship province of Canada and we will make her strong and proud, and very Canadian." To assist in this, a culturalization program has been tabled to rid Newfoundland and Labrador of her 'awful accents and un-Canadian customs'.
The joy and exuberance in the streets of the fair city can only be attributed to having the real Canadians visiting us. Why, people feel positively welcome now and genuinely part of Canada. The previous cries of separation and anti-confederation can best be rationalized as anti-Conservative sentiments, for when the Liberals are in power, every Newfoundlander or Labradorian is indeed a very proud Canadian.
Shame on anti-Canadians such as Fabian Manning and any Conservative Party of Canada supporter. Under the new Liberal government, we are certain that legislation will be enacted to make it treasonous to belong to one of these malicious radical organizations thus making Canada a safe and secure commonwealth for all the proletariat.
OH, I could go on and on... but something like the above as much as it is only humor... I think could actually be believed by quite a number of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians living home and abroad.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, MANNING!
Unlike the Western Red Star, I am actually very impressed with the latest statements from Fabian Manning. I think Fabian is hitting the nail on the head and his so-called 'venting' is actually just letting out what many of us mutter under our breaths. I do not easily forget the alienation of NL by the Liberals. I do not easily forget all their broken promises... and quite frankly, the Conservatives record vis-a-vis this "province" is much better than the Liberals. Far fewer broken promises... just this difficult claw-back/equalizat ion issue that is ongoing, and the 5-wing issue (which I can't really blame them on if I were in power and faced with such and adversarial MP for the region). And if NL is going to be a "have province" (oh that word province certainly makes me shudder when referring to NL) what freaking difference does it make if the EQ formulae are adjusted in the coming 4 interim years? Not much at all. Not compared to what has been going on for 50+ years of Liberal domination.
The WS certainly panders to its readership, being predominantly 'me fadder vote liberal and me fadder before 'e, so I votes liberal' the west coast I grew up in still exists today as strongly as ever and as most 'journalists' are predominantly left-wing biased by their own admission... this makes for a very easy editorial to write. The well-researched unbiased truth is a much more difficult read, and a much more difficult write.